sometimes i get all freaked out and think that i'm dying

i cant believe myself

i gone and done it again

put myself in these stupid situations

i'm all hung up on this kid..

and i dont even like him.

i think i'm more upset that he didnt call, or text than i actually

care about him. attention whore.

you know i was trying to like him

but he made it real hard

and he still is. i deserve more than this bullshit.

and then there is this other part of me that thinks i dont deserve it at all.

he was the one pushing to do this. to be together.

and i get nothing on the other side. i get silence. 

listen i'm judging him but he's stupid. he really has no common sense.

and i dont wanna be the one to lead this shit. i need a man.

and i found a boy in you. still dreamin

still swimmin' away like the shark that you are. 

i was gullible enough to fall for the charm, the romance,

the romance is all you got goin' for you, con-artist.

no respect for me, my family, your family, yourself.

obsessed with materialistic gains. and yourself. 

obsessed with you and what you want to do.

you're upset cause i didn't say what you wanted me to say.

and now you're runnin' away.

i see you for what you really are. 

you're just like me.

i want to live alone.

INSANITY

doing the same things, but expecting a different result.

You know they say a person's greatest fall is showing others their greatest weakness BUT
think of this as a REASON to be stronger , a REASON to be the best wife.............a lot of people don't think of it like this........they use their problems as an EXCUSE or WEAKNESS but they should use it as a STRENGTH or REASON to escape and show these mean people that you are strong you can survive and will survive................they have NOT defeated you , your still standing

trust me one day u will have a better life because they say if ur first half of ur life is painful the 2nd half is always full of happiness

Don't worry happiness is coming, there is always happiness after pain..................you wil have love 
be positive and positive things will come

Pray do good be good and meditate ur life will change

I never should have given you the satisfaction of having me

You never deserved my body. 

I thought sex wouldn't be a trigger, but it's the worst of all.

I've been pushing down the memories...

Why does it have to feel so good

and now i feel so so so disgusted, foul, lustful, and unclean.

the only reason i had sex in the first place was because

whats the point in waiting anymore, someone already took that from me.

I just need to seriously start thinking. I'm so tired.